Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Exfoliation

So, here's my 'lil bit of advice to all white people everywhere. Never under any circumstances... I repeat NEVER are you to use any type of facial cleanser/scrub that boasts its ability to exfoliate, "refresh" or "Envigorate" your skin when you are peeling from a sunburn/tan. They should use adjectives like "remove" or "aggitate"....... Oh They'll help you shed the upper dead layer of epidermus... but they do a fatastic job of removing 2-3 other layers of skin too... I knew I was in trouble when I first put the gritty solvent paste to my face. Instantly I felt like all the menthol on the planet was being forced into every poor in my tight, scorched face... I felt the little abrasive particulate tearing into my face. I tried to rinse it off, but there was no relief.... To my horror I looked in my hands & saw my golden tan gathering in my palms as bits of dead flesh... My face tingled & burned... After gently towelling off, I looked in the mirror... I was no longer tan & healthy looking... Instead I looked like I survived a nuclear blast.... Yes, I looked like a vitcim of a chemical peel gone bad... I was as red as an apple..... To make matters worse, the security lady at the airport commented, saying "ohh, that looks like it hurts"... Yeah lady, it f*cking does!! People kept staring at me in the airport... So please, remember what I say... Never use a facial exfoliant after a week in the sun!

6 comments:

Unknown said...

How did you get to be so DAMN FUNNY!!! People are staring at me.
It's so damn true...

Trish said...

you are FUNAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Janie said...

wait, who's wrigley?

bigtime said...

what a min.... thats all I get from Janie.... who's wrigley?? my face got sand blasted off!!!!

Wrigley is the ingocnito name Maggie got from our friend Sue on her blog

oz said...

YOOOOO!! Seriously, I thought happiness was holding my daughter for the first time...disturbingly that comes close to how I felt upon discovering your blog...w00t!!

Exfoliants are over-rated...you should save a couple pennies and try sandpaper, 20 grit perhaps??? It's not easy being beautiful ;)

bigtime said...

Bekkah in da heezy!!! Yo what up sista?